Imposter Syndrome for Homeschool Families and Beyond
For anyone straying away from the standard, imposter syndrome is an increased threat.
Learners and families who homeschool, especially those who unschool, are marginalized as different. They make choices considered controversial. They sometimes find it difficult to find a flow that works for them. They often receive less support because they are no longer connected to large institutions, schools, with a multiplicity of resources (labs, gyms, etc). Depending on your location and your background, community can be harder to locate and lean into. This is not to erase the beneficial value of choosing homeschooling. If that’s what your family needs, go after it. Follow that. But understand that the most worthwhile decisions are often also the hardest ones to make and stand by.
Learners and families find themselves conflicted between deep-seeded ideas about what’s normal and an urge to push against the norm. This can lead to cognitive dissonance, confusion, and imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is feeling like you’re not up to the task, the feeling of being a fraud or a fake. For parents and families, this sometimes arises as thoughts about how they’re not credentialed classroom teachers. “I don’t know how to teach that.” For parents who are teachers or have been teachers, this can show up as a fear around not connecting well enough to their children. “I don’t know what they want.” Imposter syndrome is uncertainty, which interferes with the capacity to prepare for meeting your needs and goals.
Most people experience imposter syndrome, homeschoolers or not. So what’s the best way to regain certainty?
Raise Awareness
Accept the Facts
Internalize Your Capability
#1 Raising awareness of the past, present, and future. To raise awareness of the past and present, you will need to reflect, non-judgmentally and then using critical opinions. To raise awareness of the future means clarifying what you want and knowing what is needed to get there. This aligns with the last of my five principles for living well: to prepare for what you wish for, and ensure wishes are clear. Think of reflecting on the past and present as providing information for moving even better into the future.
#2 Accept the facts of the past, present, and future. You can’t change what has happened. You have relatively minor influence on what will happen in the future. You have the immense power to alter your own behaviors and beliefs. Through well-directed intention and skillful action, you will change your life and of those around you. But you must tap into that power, which leads to the third step to regaining certainty.
#3 One term for internalizing your capacity might be “growth mindset.” You must believe you can learn and improve. Humans have the power to purposefully grow. We can set an intention and go after it successfully; that’s miraculous. Just that we are alive is a miracle, in and of itself. Life is far from guaranteed. Life is a precious and sublime gift and, at its core, a propensity to learn and improve.
Imposter syndrome exists on a continuum. Think of it like the pain scale in a medical room. On one end of that continuum is an impact so negligible, that the imposter syndrome barely has an effect. The face is relatively content. On the other end is imposter syndrome that is debilitating. The face may be red or blue, but something is painfully and obviously off.
Through a mixture of honoring, acceptance, and strengthening, we can work through the inevitable imposter syndrome and out to the other side, self-assurance.
Off Da Beaten Path Learning LLC was created for those who need to create their own path forward. It was created out of necessity to meet the needs of people unhappy with the pre-paved road.
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